


Keep me close to the surface, where the water's calm

by Motelsonthemoon



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Minor Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell, Past Robb Stark/Jeyne Westerling - Freeform, Past Robb Stark/Talisa Maegyr - Freeform, Theon Greyjoy and Jeyne Poole are bffs forever, Unrequited Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell, but not really smut, but that could change?, nothing really happens, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-23 07:30:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12502100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Motelsonthemoon/pseuds/Motelsonthemoon
Summary: Theon wakes up after an interesting dream involving his best friend and realizes that maybe his feelings for Robb Stark are more than platonic, and maybe something more.





	1. what we were told was just a dream

"So, what do you like about me?" Robb asked, his breath warm on Theon's neck.

 

Theon traced his fingers down his friend's chest, slowly grinding on his lap, his teeth running against his neck. "I like how hot you looked tonight after your game," Theon smirked. "I like how beautiful you look with me in your lap. And I think I'll like you even more when you scream my name."

 

Theon watched Robb's light blue eyes turn dark and he gasped as the larger boy picked him up and threw him on the bed. He watched his friend lean over him, slowly unbuttoning his jeans, his mouth on his neck, slowly moving down his chest. Robb looked back up at him, eyes half-lidded. Theon bit his bottom lip, raising his hips so Robb could pull off his jeans. Robb smirked and Theon thought he could come right then and there. He leaned back and closed his eyes as he felt warm breath on his cock, his mouth so dangerously close.

 

"Tell me what you want Theon," Robb whispered.

 

"You," Theon gasped. The breath grew warmer. "I want you, Robb. I've always wanted you."

 

Robb growled in response and slowly pulled down Theon's boxers. Theon watched as Robb's mouth grew closer and closer and…

 

Theon woke up and the words, _you’re fucking screwed_ immediately flashed before his eyes. He softly groaned and covered his head with his blankets, wishing he could just disappear. Theon peeked his head out from under the blanket and saw that Robb was still fast asleep, his back facing him. Theon immediately replaced the blankets over his head and laid perfectly still on the air mattress.

 

 _Okay, deep breaths Theon. Just relax,_ Theon ordered himself. _It's just a sex dream...It’s not like you actually have a crush on your best friend…_ Theon immediately stopped himself. His thoughts quickly turned to all the times Theon accidentally sat too close to Robb, their thighs touching lightly; the way he stopped breathing when the auburn haired boy touched his shoulder or arm; all the times Theon kept his eyes on his friend longer than what was socially acceptable.

 

_Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit...SHIT._

 

Theon grabbed his phone and groaned as the light temporarily blinded him. He peeked out from under the blankets, his friend still lightly snoring and oblivious to the crisis that was occurring less than three feet away.

 

Theon opened up google and threw in a quick search: ‘How to tell you have a crush on your best friend.’

 

The first link was to what Theon believed was a site for teen girls. He wouldn't be surprised if Sansa visited this site a few times. He bit his bottom lip and quickly pressed it before he could chicken out. He scrolled down the page till he saw it begin to list.

 

          **1\. You get weirdly excited when he texts you.**

  

Theon closed his web browser and opened up his texts, reading through his messages.

 

 **Robb; 5:52 p.m.:** mom wants to know if u were coming over tonight?

 

 **Theon, 5:54 p.m.:** Hmmm….can’t believe she told u abt us? ;)

I guess it’s time to come clean. ur mother and I are madly in love.

 

 **Robb, 5:55 p.m.:** Ugh, don’t be gross. I’ll just tell her

ur not coming.

 **Robb, 5:58 p.m.:** She’s also making tacos and I got the new FIFA game.

I guess I can just play wit Jon later.

 

 **Theon, 5:58 p.m.:** I’m on my way.

 **Theon, 5:59 p.m.:** and don’t u fucking dare play FIFA

with Jon.

I will betray u and you'd probably die w/o me.

 **Robb, 6:01 pm:** Oh what are u going to do?

Leave me for ur family? No offense Theon but

even I have a hard time believing that one.

I guess if u do betray me, u can hang w Jon when

I’m dead.

 

 **Theon, 6:02 p.m.** : If u think I am going to live in a world

where Jon Snow is my best friend ur fucking wrong…

He’d probably kill me pretty quickly

and then we can just hang out in the afterlife….

do ghost shit

 

 **Robb, 6:05 p.m.:** I mean…it could be fun being a ghost

Every time Jon plays an MCR song, change it to Troye Sivan….

Maybe some Katy Perry?

 **Theon, 6:08 pm:** I KNEW YOU WERE SECRETLY EVIL

(and a genius)! What’s his feelings on Taylor Swift?

 

 **Robb, 6:08 pm:** I like the way u think... one sec

 

 **Robb, 6:15 pm:** And I quote “her music is what u listen to

when u truly want to die. It’s commercialized shit

that has no soul. her music is the worst fucking thing to happen

since mcr broke up."

I also listened to him talk about the genius of MCR's Black

Parade for five minutes. I hope you’re happy.

 

 **Robb, 6:16 p.m.:** dinner is almost done. were r u?

 **Theon, 6:19 p.m.:** look outside stark ;)

 

 **Robb, 6:19 pm:** you’re a dumbass.

Also jon is going to kill u when he sees what you 

did to his car. :)

 

 **Theon, 6:19 p.** **m.** : nah, he wouldn't...

rickon would be sad and jon doesn't like

seeing you guys sad....he's the only one allowed to be sad

only one emo per family

 

 **Robb, 6:21 pm:** just get ur ass in here. I’m starving.

 

 **Theon, 6:20 pm:** well come down and let me in then stark :P

 

Theon mentally checked a yes for that one. He returned back to safari and went to number two.

 

  1. **You overanalyze things when he doesn’t text you back.**



 

Robb always texted Theon back, unless he was angry at him. Which surprisingly rarely happened, despite Theon realizing he's an absolute dick 80% of the time. The dark haired boy tried to think back, focus on a time where he freaked out because Robb didn't message back . Nothing. _I mean, I guess if he didn’t text me back I would just assume he died?_ Theon thought to himself. Theon crossed this one off his mental checklist.

 

  1. **You get jealous when he hangs out with another girl.**



 

_Damn it._

 

Theon remembered Robb’s last girlfriend, a dark haired girl named Jeyne who was quite possibly the nicest person in existence. And Theon being Theon, was a fucking dick the whole time. She was, in Robb's words, 'the best girlfriend ever.' She was always making him cute lunches, holding hands as they walked to class, wore his jersey on game days. She even tolerated Theon, sitting with him at all the home games. Theon remembered he tried to be cool about the whole deal, but he was constantly moody and _fuck, I was Jon fucking Snow, fuck me_.

 

It went from Robb and Theon to Robb, Jeyne and sometimes Theon. Robb still made time for him, but his best friend spent more time with his girlfriend than Theon. For the longest time Theon just assumed he was angry and moody because he was lonely, having to spend his evenings at home with Asha; but looking back, and taking his current crisis in consideration Theon knew that was a big fucking lie. Robb had spent many summers away on vacation in the Riverlands and Theon never felt lonely once. Sad that Robb wasn't around, but never lonely. Never hurt. Theon remembered the sigh of relief when Jeyne broke up with Robb about a month ago (Theon never did get the whole story about that one). Robb spent evenings in his room, listening to sad pop songs. Theon immediately felt guilty. Jeyne truly did make him happy. Made Robb happy in a way Theon never could.

 

Theon refused to even think about Talisa. And the Margaery fiasco? Theon shook his head and decided he was better off not thinking about this subject any longer.

 

Theon sighed. _Two out of three I guess._

 

  1. **You constantly find ways to tie him into a conversation.**



 

Well since Robb is pretty much his only friend,  there's not a lot of other people he can talk about. Sure he makes jokes about Jon and his his red haired girlfriend who may be way too hot for him. He'll occasionally talk about babysitting Rickon. But Robb was always an end subject.

 

When Theon hung out with Asha? The conversation always ended up being about Robb. Fishing with his uncle Rodrik in the summer? Robb is always mentioned. Theon is pretty sure if he was friends with other people, he’d talk about them too. _Would you though?_ Theon shook his head, refusing to count this in his mental list even though he knew it counted.

 

_Three out of five, fuck._

 

  1. **You deny that you have a crush on him**



 

Theon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A trap. If he denies the crush, then five automatically is checked off, making it four out of five checks...four out of five big yes’s to “Does Theon Greyjoy Want to Cuddle With His Best Friend Checklist.” Theon closed his eyes and immediately tried to not thinking about cuddling with Robb, which in turned lead to him actually thinking about cuddling with him. Theon couldn’t deny Robb gave the best hugs and he is 100% sure he would be an amazing big spoon.

 

 _Stop getting distracted dumbass,_ Theon berated himself. He turned back to his phone. If Theon accepts he has a crush on his best and only friend, then his entire life is fucked. How can you just have a crush on your best friend and assume everything will be okay? Theon tried to tell himself he could get over it, but the more Theon thought about his friendship with Robb, the more he realized this isn’t some sudden crush. It’s always been there, lurking beneath the surface waiting for him….

 

“No,” Theon whispered to himself, locking his phone and tossing it under Robb's bed, out of sight and mind. The sun started to shine through the curtains and Theon watched intently as Robb pulled his blankets tighter, his curly auburn hair sprawled out on his pillow, mumbling something about his wolf Grey Wind and…

 

“Theon,” Robb whispered in his sleep, pulling his blankets even closer to his body.  

 

Theon was undeniably fucked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title - you & me by the hunna


	2. my kingdom for your graces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robb POV immediately following the first chapter.

Robb woke up to see Theon missing and the air mattress shoved underneath the bed. The auburn haired boy took a glance at his phone, 11:32 a.m. glaring him in the face. Sansa began screaming about someone going into her room and messing with her stuff, throwing Arya’s name in after every three words. Robb sighed and got out of bed. He avoided his two sisters, running down the stairs. He stopped in the kitchen, his mother working on lunch for Rickon and Bran, no Theon in sight.

 

“Did Theon go home?” Robb asked, taking a seat at the counter.

 

Rickon nodded. “He said wasn’t feeling well this morning. Even though he me promised he’d help me make an igloo. Theon makes the best igloos.”

 

“I’m sure he’ll help you another day,” Robb replied, ruffling his youngest brother’s hair.

 

“Theon left an hour ago, he looked nervous when I asked if he was okay,” Bran supplied, taking a bite of his sandwich.  

 

Robb’s eyebrow rose but he didn’t reply, simply nodding. He made his way to the living room, turning on the TV. Robb pulled out his phone; there were a few missed messages from Gendry and Margaery, but none from Theon. _Odd_ , Robb thought to himself. Theon constantly would spam Robb with prequel memes. Never again would Robb tell anyone he liked the prequels.

 

 **Robb, 11:45 a.m.:** hey, just got up. Rickon said u left early. you okay?

 

Robb waited for a response, but after a few minutes passed and he received no text, he sat his phone down. He flipped through the channels for a bit before finally stopping it on _Captain America_.

 

His phone buzzed and Robb sighed when he saw it was Jon.

 

 **Jon, 12:21 p.m.:** what are you doing right now?

 

 **Robb, 12:21 p.m.:** Just watching Captain America.

Guessing you’re with Ygritte?

 

 **Jon, 12:22 p.m.:** yea, Gilly and Sam are here too.

We’re at the bookstore.

 

 **Robb, 12:24 p.m.:** Can you pick me up that new book?

The one from that book series i’m reading?

 

 **Jon, 12:26 p.m.:** the one where everyone dies???

And you guys say i’m the emo one.

 

 **Jon, 12:27 p.m.:** but sure, i’ll get it.

But that’s not why i texted you.

 

 **Robb, 12:28 p.m.:** oh what’s up?

Everything okay?

 

 **Jon, 12:29 p.m.:** Okay don’t interrupt me now.

So i just saw your best bud Theon at the bookstore.

 

 **Robb, 12:31 p.m.:** that’s not that weird.

He likes to read. And ure at a bookstore.

 

 **Jon, 12:34 p.m.:** I said don’t interrupt me.

Anyways, I know he likes to read...but he

doesn’t typically read this, does he?

 

*tap to download pictures*

 

Robb clicked on the two pictures and waited for his phone to download it, silently cursing his horrible wifi connection and the thousand electronics attached to it. After a minute of the small circle getting closer and closer to completion, he sees a blurry picture of Theon, wearing a stocking hat and holding a magazine, hiding in a corner. Robb pinched his screen together, making the picture larger. His friend looked very engrossed in whatever he’s reading, though Robb’s unable to make out what exactly he’s reading. The second picture is an actual picture of the magazine; a cute blond haired girl wearing a lion mane is gracing the cover, and the word Myrcella is covering the entire magazine.

 

Robb took a quick glance around for Sansa, hoping she snuck downstairs after her fight with Arya ended. After no luck, he jumped up from the couch, his phone secured in his hand and he ran up the stairs. He walked to his sister’s door, soft pop music playing in the background. Robb knocked once and waited for his sister to respond.

 

Sansa opened the door and Robb immediately threw his phone in her face. “What is this?”

 

Sansa took a step back, her blue eyes squinting, trying to make out the picture. She rolled her eyes and rummaged through her large pile of magazines, before throwing it at him.

 

“Didn’t know you were into Myrcella, Robb,” Sansa said smiling, turning down her music, her hands going to her hips.

 

“Oh, I’m just curious what this magazine was...I saw someone reading it and I was curious. That’s all,” Robb tried explaining without informing his sister that the person reading it was Theon. And he was curious because Theon didn’t listen to cute pop music and didn’t read anything that didn’t include at least five naked ladies and four deaths, claiming anything else was just dull.

 

Sansa laughed. “Clearly, it’s a magazine I like. So I think that sums up what kind of magazine this is and who it’s catered to. You can borrow it. There are a lot of fun quizzes in that one.”

 

“Quizzes?” Robb asked, leaning against the door frame.

 

“Just read it Robb. I think it’ll be very informative” Sansa winked, ushering him out of her bedroom. “Just give it back when you’re done.” Sansa shut the door in his face.

 

Robb made his way to his room, shutting it behind him. He pulled out his phone and opened up Jon’s messages.

 

 **Robb, 12:48 p.m.:** Leave Theon alone.

He’s probably reading it as a dare...you know

how asha is. She’s probably hiding in the coffee

shop, laughing about this.

 

 **Jon, 12:49 p.m.:** Well whatever it is,

it’s blackmail material. I know he’s the one

who vandalized my car…

MCR will never be dead….

 

 **Robb, 12:50 p.m.:** I have no idea what you’re talking about.

 

 **Jon, 12:54 p.m.:** I know you know.

 

 **Robb, 12:56 p.m.:** What does Ygritte always tell you?

Can’t quite remember the phasing…...

 

 **Jon, 12:54 p.m.:**  >_>I’m ignoring you now. Bye.

 

Robb chuckled and opened up his message to Theon, saying it was delivered but still not read. The auburn haired boy plugged his earbuds in, turning his music to shuffle and opened up Sansa’s magazine. He skimmed through the first few pages, nothing sticking out to him. Just advertisements for makeup, some new perfume called Starfall and a large story about a new up and coming pop singer name Myrcella. Robb almost gave up on the magazine when he came across one of the quizzes Sansa mentioned.

 

_“Will You Date Your Crush?”_

 

Robb sat the magazine down, leaning back on his bed. He knew Theon spent a lot of time with Jeyne Poole, especially when he was with Jeyne Westerling. Theon and Jeyne had a lot of classes together, the two of them are also captains on their respective swim teams and both lost their parents at a young age. His friend even invited her out when Robb was still with his ex-girlfriend. The two of them had a lot in common and Robb threw his pillow over his head.

 

“I’m so stupid,” Robb mumbled into his pillow. “Of course he has a crush on Jeyne. And Sansa probably recommended he take this stupid quiz.”

 

Robb could see the two of them together and the thought made Robb sick to his stomach. Robb knew they would be cute together, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. In fact, the thought of Theon and Jeyne holding hands, cuddling on the couch...he couldn’t bear the thought. Sometimes Robb thought there was something more between him and Theon, but he couldn’t be sure. He noticed his friend watching him out of the corner of his eye. The way his eyes shined when Robb smiled at him, the electricity he felt when Theon leaned against him.

 

‘ _Watch him,’_ Jeyne told him the night she broke up with him.

 

So watch him he did. For a month. And looking back, Robb knew there was no way Theon Greyjoy had a crush on Jeyne Poole. He was nothing but cordial to the younger girl, no passion. He’s seen the fire in his friend’s eyes when he thought Robb wasn’t looking...the hungry look that in no way said he wanted to just be friends with Robb.  

 

Robb removed the pillow and grabbed the magazine. He rummaged in his bedside drawer for a pen and paper.

 

    1. ** **How did he sign your yearbook at the end of the school year?****

  

“What kind of question is this?” Robb asked aloud, confused on how this question was anywhere useful to figuring out the answer to his ultimate question. And the responses were even more ridiculous. He’s not even sure Theon even signed his yearbook and he could already imagine his friend laughing and writing some obscene Iron Islander joke that no one would get but him. Robb went with the most realistic choice, something about having a nice summer and marked down his answer.

 

  1. **Last year you would usually see him:**



 

Robb was beginning to question how Sansa even landed a girlfriend if this was the sort romance advice she relied upon. Even though none of the answers came close to the actual truth (which was basically anywhere Robb went, Theon followed closely behind), he quickly scratched down his answer and moved on to the next question.

 

  1. **He calls you:**



 

Robb couldn’t even keep track of all the names Theon has called him throughout the years. First there was ‘Stark’, the most common name Theon uttered for him. The name you heard screamed at him down the school hallway and in the classroom. Then there was the endearing ‘Young Wolf’. Robb remembered Theon saying that Robb was more wolf than man at this point, always picking off Grey Wind’s fur off his clothes. Theon also told him it made him sound tough, which twelve year old Robb greatly appreciated.

 

And sometimes when it was just the two of them, late at night, when Theon would talk about his mother, talk about his hopes and dreams, when Robb talked about the two of them traveling after high school, going to university together, Theon would call him Robb. Robb. He liked the way Theon said his name. He said his name like it was a promise, a beginning, a secret that only the two of them knew, the answer to life itself.

 

  1. **The last time you talked, you:**



 

Robb was now actually questioning how Sansa was able to not only land Margaery Tyrell, his unrequited 9th grade crush, but also able to continue dating her after two years. There was no way Sansa was able to take this quiz and scientifically get an answer anywhere close to the truth. Robb felt bad for whoever sat down and wrote these quizzes.

 

The auburn haired boy thought back to his conversation last night, Robb asking Theon if he believed in soulmates. Robb couldn’t remember how they came upon the topic, but he was certain they’ve never discussed it before. Theon just laughed and mentioned Robb’s parents, saying something like _‘if soulmates don’t exist, I guess I wouldn’t mind what your parents have. I mean your mom is pretty hot and I guess so is your dad, now that I think about it....you think they’d be down…’_ ’ Robb had promptly thrown his pillow down at his friend before Theon could continue down the dangerous road he was traveling. Robb fell asleep to Theon mumbling he believed in soulmates, even if they were unrequited sometimes. He could have been dreaming though.

 

Robb immediately circled the nearly fainted answer.

 

  1. **Your new motto for the school year is:**



 

Robb groaned, how was he only on question five? How was there five more questions? He just circled an answer and moved on. 

 

  1. **You knew he was going to be your next big crush from the moment:**



 

He had a type and Theon summed up that type quite nicely, despite his obliviousness about actually crushing on Theon.

 

Robb accepted he was bisexual last year. For him it just happened and he immediately accepted it, finding no reason to fret over something he couldn’t control. Though admitting it does help when said person who helped Robb realize he was bisexual in the first place was freshman Gendry Waters. Said boy enjoyed walking around the weight room shirtless, bench-pressing more than twice of what Robb weighed. Robb liked to think he’s a strong person, but he’s not that strong. He might have let his eyes stray over to the younger man once too many times. The crush was short lived after he found out Arya and Gendry had been dating for almost a month at that point.

 

Robb quickly scribbled in the margins of his paper _Congratulate Arya….again._

 

Robb was into tall, dark and handsome. Even his previous girlfriends met that requirement in some shape or form. But looking at everything now from this new, awakened perspective, he’s begun to realize maybe his brain was unconsciously trying to tell him something all along. Trying to tell him that Theon was right there, and Theon met every one of his requirements. Theon with his thick, dark hair that he refused to cut, but constantly complained about. His dark grey eyes that look like they’ve seen hell and back, but still managed to shine mischievously when Robb agreed to do whatever Theon had planned. Robb would be lying if he did not notice Theon’s broad shoulders and began to understand why Theon constantly proclaimed swimming as the best sport known to mankind. Robb quickly wrote a reminder to thank the old gods for swimming under his message to Arya.

 

 _And his goddamn smirk_ , Robb cursed. He was sure that Theon’s smirk alone could destroy the world; well, at least Robb’s knees. Robb realized he was in too deep and was so close to drowning at this point.

 

He took a deep sigh. Despite realizing his sexuality last year, he still never found a way to tell Theon. It wasn’t like he thought Theon would stop talking to him, but he knew his friend’s family was extremely conservative and he didn’t want to make things weird between them. And Robb hasn’t dated, let alone, even kissed another guy before, so he kept tossing it to the side, telling himself he’d tell his best friend when it came up. And now that his crush came to the boiling point, there was no way Theon wouldn’t find out sooner rather than later.

 

  1. **His friends:**



 

Theon didn’t have a lot of friends, but the ones he did have, valued him and respected him. Theon hung out with Jeyne Poole when Robb was busy. Robb remembered seeing Theon eating lunch with Sansa a few times. When Robb had asked her about it she just told him to mind his own business, and that other people can be friends with Theon too. After that, Sansa and Theon always made time to eat lunch at school together at least once a week.

 

Theon came across as arrogant and vain, a cocky smile always present on his freckled face. But Robb saw the real Theon; the Theon who didn’t have to hide behind his arrogant persona. He saw the real Theon who told Robb his insecurities, his fears, his problems late at night, when everyone was asleep but the two of them. Though Robb knew others couldn’t understand what he saw in Theon, why he would be friends with the troubled, genius youth, Robb wouldn’t change it for the world. When they were together, they could be their true authentic selves, two lost souls who together could take on the world.

 

Robb quickly wrote in his answer, ignoring the burning sensation on his face.

 

  1. **His best quality is** :



 

 _My rugged good looks, clearly,_ Robb imagined Theon saying, his signature smirk and wink combination immediately following. Robb quickly pulled out his phone, going through his pictures of him and Theon. Robb would have to agree.

 

 _Definitely in too deep_.

 

  1. **The first thing you plan to do when you see him in the fall is:**



 

Robb took a glance out window, watching Arya chase Rickon around, and throwing snowballs as she went. Bran was out of his wheelchair and making snow angels with one of the Reed kids.

 

“I think I’m taking this during the wrong time of the year,” Robb joked to himself. He pulled the curtains back and turned his attention back to this stupid quiz.

 

What did he do though? Robb thought back to the first day of their senior year, thinking about how it went the same exact way it did every year. Theon would stroll into the main doors, throwing a finger gun at a few of the freshman girls, before making his way to Robb, leaning against his locker. They would joke about something and go to their respective classes. Thinking about it now, Robb realized he probably spent far too long staring at his friend’s ass as he walked away than was socially acceptable. Robb gently slammed his head against his wall, how did he not realize this crush sooner?

 

  1. **Who do you turn to for advice about your crush?**



 

Robb closed the magazine and set it at the foot of his bed. _What am I doing?_ He asked himself. He picked up his phone and realized he has a few missed texts from everyone _but_ Theon. And he could see Theon had read his message, but never replied.

 

 _Does Theon know I like him more than friends?_ Robb pondered. So many what ifs began to form. What if Theon was straight? He’s never seen him flirt with anyone but girls? But what if Theon did like guys too? But what if he didn’t like Robb that way? What if he actually liked Jon? Oh gods, what if he really did like his mom?

 

What if...what if…what if….

 

Robb rose from his bed and grabbed his jacket, quickly putting it on. He opened up his text messages, noticing the three dots flashing on his screen. Robb waited a few minutes, hoping Theon would respond, but Robb grew impatient.  

 

 **Robb, 3:21 p.m.:** Hey, I know ur reading my messages.

Stop ignoring me. It’s important.

Meet me at our playground in 20 mins

If u don’t show, I’m sending Jon.

 

Robb picked up the magazine and slid it under his sister’s door. He made his way downstairs to where his mom and dad sat on the couch, watching some medieval show with dragons. Robb didn’t know what his parents saw in this show, but stopped questioning their taste in mediocre tv shows long ago.  

 

“I’m heading out, I’ll be back later,” Robb told his parents, opening the front door.

 

“Meeting up with Theon?” his father asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “Please don’t break into anymore abandoned buildings, even if it is to prove the existence of ghosts, or in your case, the nonexistence of ghosts.”

 

Robb smiled. Bran had been badgering Theon over the nonexistence of ghosts for months. Bran had tried explaining there was no proof they existed and Theon argued that ghosts do exist and he can prove it. The taller boy had somehow convinced and dragged Robb to an abandoned building north of Winterfell, the two spending the night there. The pair had hope to record some proof, but the only thing they ended up recording was Grey Wind eating their food in the middle of the night and the cops showing up around 8 am to kick them out. More recently, Bran has begun discussing how the moon landing was faked and Robb was curious on how this would play out. Thankfully lack of funds and technology currently makes it impossible for them to go to space at this time; though, Robb is sure Theon will think of some way of proving Bran wrong. Hopefully it just doesn't include the cops this time around.

 

“No promises,” truthfully flowed from Robb’s lips, a soft smile forming.

 

His mother rolled her eyes. “At least you’re honest about it. Dinner will be done around six. Don’t be out too late.”

 

Robb nodded and walked out the house and down the sidewalk; towards the small playground he met Theon at all those years ago. It started there, and Robb was going to make sure it ended there too. Whatever happened.  

 

The boy shivered and adjusted his coat, forgetting how cold it could actually get in the winter. Robb took a step towards the crosswalk when a car spun out of control, hitting a patch of ice. Robb could do nothing but freeze as the car began its collision course towards him. His last thought was of Theon and how pissed the other boy was going to be when he didn’t show up. All he felt was pain and the world went black. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY :( 
> 
> Our little Kraken, though he deserves happiness, needs a little more angst in his life. 
> 
> I really want to send a shout out to @vaIonqarjaime and @FatPinkMast for helping me clean this up and providing some pretty great suggestions to clean up the story a little.
> 
> chapter title is from worship by years & years.
> 
> Also, we all know Theon is a huge Myrcella fan and actually was reading the magazine to get the juicy new details regarding her new album dropping in spring. He could care less about the quizzes.


	3. Hold my heart like a stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon has a heart to heart with his sister and tries to figure out the best way to 1. Tell Robb he likes him and 2. Not die in the process.

 

Theon was no stranger to crushes. There was the red haired girl who lived a few blocks away from him, who might or might not have been very good with her mouth. Theon could be a gentleman sometimes. Then there was that brief, dark period when Theon was 13, where he and Snow had bonded over their mutual love of Bright Eyes. Theon immediately nipped that crush in the bud as soon as the dark haired boy brought up My Chemical Romance. Theon does have some standards and listening to a moody, emo boy wax poetics about a band that had maybe one good song was not it. Plus he wore too much eyeliner for Theon’s taste. 

 

But nothing actually recent. There were a few flings, but nothing serious. He thought about his relationship with Jeyne; wondering if there was something between them. Theon chuckled. Jeyne was too far gone for some prep school boy named Edric she met at a swim meet last spring. Plus, Theon saw Jeyne as his younger sister, the two telling each everything they couldn’t say to their best friends. 

 

Theon pulled out his phone.

 

**Theon, 11:02 a.m.:** DID YOU KNOW I HAD A CRUSH  ON ROBB STARK?

 

**Jeyne, 11:03 a.m.:** Wait….did you just realize this?

I’m actually confused? Like i thought u knew?

I’m pretty sure everyone knows??? I mean i did.    
I think sansa does too. 

 

**Theon, 11:03 a.m.:** fuck, how did i not know this?

 

**Jeyne, 11:05 a.m.:** because you’re a boy and 

boys are dumb. So how did you figure it out? 

 

**Theon, 11:06 a.m.:** I had a sex dream abt him...

when i was in his room....this morning. 

 

**Jeyne, 11:06 a.m.:** HAIHSFKJSFKSDJFDSF HA

R’HLLOR SAVE ME REALLY!?! Give me the dirty 

details.

 

**Theon, 11:08 a.m.:** Fuck off poole

 

**Jeyne, 11:09 a.m.:** you’ll tell me eventually….you always do.

 

**Jeyne, 11:11 a.m.:** so what are you going to do? You’re at his 

place right?

 

**Theon, 11:12 a.m.:** well i sort of ran out of his house,

told his brothers i was feeling sick. catelyn fucking

asked if i wanted a ride home and like i just ignored

her and bolted out the house. 

 

**Jeyne, 11:13 a.m.:** are you going to tell him though?

 

**Theon, 11:14 a.m.:** are u fucking kidding me? 

Fuck no. He’s my best friend and i’m not ruining it

because i may really like him more than friends.

 

**Jeyne, 11:15 a.m.:** do you want me to come over? 

 

Theon looked up from his phone, his house just down the block. Asha’s car was in the driveway and at this point, he was not in the mood for his sister’s teasing about him and Jeyne.

 

**Theon, 11:17 a.m.:** Nah, I’m going to take a nap. 

It also took me 30 fucking mins to walk home

 

**Jeyne, 11:18 a.m.:** well if u want me to come over

just let me know. I’ll drive over and we can watch those

shitty ass movies you’re always trying to make me watch.

 

**Theon, 11:19 a.m.:** the transformers series is a masterpiece

How dare you fucking say this to me right now, when i’m 

currently in a crisis. 

 

**Jeyne, 11:21 a.m.:** you already had you bisexual crisis tho

 

**Theon 11:22 a.m.:** okay, it’s not my fault your boyfriend looked

fucking amazing in his swim trunks. But fuck off, this is worse

than that. Because i don’t think i can fucking talk to him?

I’m just gonna imagine his mouth near my cock and 

how good he looked with his hair sprawled on his pillow

 

**Jeyne, 11:23 a.m.:** tell me more of your fantasies about your best friend….

 

**Theon, 11:24 a.m.:** FUCK OFF POOLE. 

But really, i can’t tell him. Like he doesn’t even know i’m bi

 

**Jeyne 11:25 a.m.:** wait really? I thought you told him???

 

**Theon 11:25 a.m.:** well i mean, i just fucking found out three months ago…

Just haven’t found how to organically bring it up...and now imagine me 

going to robb and being like “yo, so i think i like dick...especially ur dick”

  
  


**Jeyne 11:26 a.m.:** THEON! Don’t say that….

I will say it’s nice to see you opening up abt everything.

And i want you to know that Robb will still love you, even

If it’s not the way you want it to be….

But i wouldn’t worry about that.

 

**Theon, 11:26 a.m.:** what do you mean?????????

 

**Jeyne, 11:27 a.m.:** just talk to robb, trust me okay. 

I heard some things from the girls on the swim team

and let’s just say….robb stark isn’t 100% straight…

especially when it comes to you….

 

**Theon, 11:28 a.m.:** ?????????? stop fucking

around and just tell me…

 

**Jeyne, 11:29 a.m.:** just talk to robb okay. 

but let’s just say Jeyne Westerling didn’t 

break up with robb because of any ol reason.

 

**Jeyne, 11:30 a.m.:** I have to go help my mom okay.

Just promise me you’ll talk to him...don’t ignore him.

 

**Theon, 11:32 a.m.** thanks jeyne

 

**Jeyne, 11:34 a.m.:** <3 <3 let me know how it goes <3 <3

 

Theon looked at his last messages to Robb, his fingers lingering over the keyboard. He would talk to Robb but he needed to time to think, to finally comprehend that yes, Theon Greyjoy, does in fact like his best friend in the non-platonic, _ I really want to make out with you  _ sort of way. Theon groaned and slammed his head against his front door. 

 

The door quickly opened and Theon fell inside, landing on his face. Asha stood to the side, a smile on her face.

 

“Fuck Asha,” Theon yelped, grabbing his nose, blood beginning to drip out his nose and into his hand. “Why’d you fucking do that?”

 

“You’ve been standing outside like you’re fucking lost now for 20 minutes, you shithead,” Asha chuckled, walking over to grab the box of tissues on the a bookshelf. She handed him a few and Theon quickly held them to his nose. “What’s your problem? Thought you’d be at Stark’s all day.”

 

“I wasn’t feeling well,” Theon responded, walking out of the foyer and into the kitchen, grabbing a small blue hand towel. He threw some ice in the towel and held it to his nose. 

 

His older sister just rolled her eyes and grabbed a soda from the fridge. “How’s your boyfriend?”

 

Theon froze. Typically he would respond with ‘he’s not my fucking boyfriend’ or some other eloquent response. But Theon just froze.

 

“Oh shit, are you two actually fucking dating?” Asha asked, a smile forming on her face. “Fuck me, finally! Drowned God take you, you two were so dense, can’t believe you’re finally dating.”

 

“We’re not dating,” Theon responded, leaning over the sink, letting the blood slowly drip. Theon realized how defeated he felt. He finally accepted it. He truly liked Robb Stark and he’s about to have a breakdown over it in the kitchen, in front of his sister. “Gods, I’m so fucking stupid.”

 

Asha sat her drink down and rubbed his back. “Have you talked to him?”

 

“You haven’t done this since mom died,” Theon laughed, feeling his eyes water. 

 

“Answer the question, Squidboy,” Asha said, her voice laced with concern. 

 

“No, but why would he like me? Like, he’s fucking Robb Stark? I’m just some loser, with a dead mom and deadbeat dad who’d rather deal drugs and be sent to prison than care for his family. I’m no one...I’m just some boy who reeks of desperation and pity,” replied Theon. 

 

“And too much cologne,” Asha joked, running her hands through his hair. “You’re more than that, you know that right? You’re loyal to a fault, you’d do anything for Robb, for me, for any of those Stark kids. Remember Sansa and that boy who hit her? I know you did something about that. And Poole? I heard what you did to that creep who was harassing her at the swim meet a few months ago, I don’t think just anyone would do the stuff you do.”

 

Theon rolled his eyes, wiping his tears away. “Anyone can beat up some asshole, just living out the Greyjoy name I guess.” 

 

“Punching some guy because he’s harassing someone is not something Balon would ever fucking do, and you fucking know it,” Asha hissed. “Stop putting yourself down. I know you haven’t had the easiest time, but you’re a great person who deserves someone who will make you happy. And if that person is Robb Stark, well, let’s just say if he hurts you in anyway, I have a cute little axe out back…”

 

“Oh my god, you can’t just say you’re going to murder my best friend, who I’m fucking in love with, right in front of me...while I’m crying,” Theon exclaimed. 

 

Asha stopped rubbing his back and took a step back; Theon is pretty sure he could see her smirk a mile away. “What was that my little squid?” 

 

“I didn’t say anything,” Theon took a step back from the sink. “Not sure what you thought you heard, but it was nothing.”

 

Theon felt his phone vibrate, and started to reach for it when his sister grabbed his arms. “Nope,” she said, drawing out the p. “I’m pretty sure you just told me you’re in love with Robb Stark.” 

 

“You need to get your hearing checked,” Theon retorted. “Clearly, the tools you use at work have messed with your hearing.” 

 

Asha laughed and Theon fell to the ground. “Fuck Asha, why. This fucking sucks. I hate everything.”

 

Asha frowned and took a seat beside him. “Love fucking sucks.”

 

“Why couldn’t it be someone else? Why couldn’t it have been anyone but him,” Theon whispered, hugging his knees. 

 

“I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have wanted to fall in love with his cousin, that moody one who listens to too much Dashboard Confessional.” Asha took a sip of her soda. 

 

“If I ever come to you and tell you I love Jon fucking Snow, please kill me right then and there,” Theon laughed. He took a deep breath. “I need to tell him, don’t I? That’s what Jeyne told me to do.”

 

His sister nodded. “She’s a smart girl. If you don’t tell him, you’ll feel like this for a really long time.”

 

Theon sighed. He took his sister’s soda and took a long sip, thinking about how he could tell him, where he could tell him. He rose from the kitchen floor and held his hand out and helped his older sister up. 

 

“I think I’m going to take a nap and then figure out how I’m going to do this,” Theon finally said, handing her, her soda back. 

 

Asha nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” 

 

Theon left his sister in the kitchen and made his way to his small, messy room. He kicked his clothes away from the door and tossed his books off his bed and onto the floor. He grabbed his stuffed squid that Robb had given him when he was 11 and squeezed it, hoping it would lend him some strength or at least some ideas on how to 1. Come out to his best friend and 2. Tell his best friend he was in love with him all in one go, without actually scaring him away. 

 

Theon pulled out his phone, noticing he had a missed text from Robb. His heart sped up a little and Theon tossed the phone to the side of his bed. He pulled out his laptop from under his bed and opened up google. The dark haired boy looked around his room, making sure no one was lurking in the corners.

 

_ how to tell your best friend you like him  _ and enter. 

 

He released a sigh of relief to see the first link was a how to and not another website like this morning. He scrolled down, skimming the multiple different ways, only to make his way back to the top and read the “how to casually tell him” section. Theon wasn’t the sort of person to go out and buy a thousand red roses and proclaim his love over a sunset. He’s more of the I got your back and will fight for you sort of romantic. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to start crying about it...again. 

 

  1. Make sure you and he are very close friends.
  2. Choose the casual method if you and your guy friend can hold long and deep conversations all in one. 
  3. Bring him somewhere alone and away from his friends. 
  4. Lead on the subject of your crush in a gradual manner. 
  5. Remember not to ask him out immediately.



 

Theon read them over a couple of times before tossing his laptop to the end of his bed and walking to the mirror in the corner of his bedroom. He noticed large purple swelling around his nose and eyes and gently banged his head against the mirror. 

 

_ Fuck _ . 

 

**Step 1.**

 

He took a deep breath. Step 1 was easy. He’s been best friends with Robb since kindergarten and they had maybe gone two weeks without talking and that was in fourth grade.  _ Stupid runaway turtle _ , Theon cursed.  _ Stark can’t take care of a turtle but can have a fucking half wolf running around.  _

 

Theon shook his head and returned to the task on hand. He ran his hand through his hair, realizing he should get a haircut. He looked around for a rubber band and tied his hair up. 

 

**Step 2.**

 

Theon would definitely have to tell him somewhere safe. So definitely not his bedroom, Asha would definitely hide in a closet or in one of the many piles of clothes littered in his room. Robb’s room was definitely out of the question. 

 

Maybe a diner? Too public. A park? It’s cold but could work. 

 

Theon smiled, he knew the perfect place.

 

**Step 3.**

 

Well step two and three seemed to be the same thing, so Theon mentally checked it off his list. 

 

**Step 4.**

 

“So Robb, I’ve been thinking,” Theon began, tilting his head to the side. “Fuck, no. That’s just ridiculous.” 

 

Theon paced around his room, his mind trying to come up with possible openings. 

 

“Hey Robb, you remember my family’s motto? Well you want to know what else is gonna rise again harder and stronger tonight?” Theon stopped and collapsed into a pile of clothes. 

 

“Who am I fucking kidding, this is not going to work. And now I’m deadass talking to myself in my room, surrounded by piles of dirty laundry,” Theon giggled, throwing his arm over his face. He winced in pain and cursed all the gods and their cruel jokes. “I’m losing it.” 

 

“Hey Stark! Let’s take this to the park so I can tell you how gay I am for you,” Theon laughed even more. 

 

Theon sniffed the shirt by his head and immediately rose. Theon raised his hands and slowly lowered them as he took a deep breath. He turned back to his mirror and smiled softly. 

 

“Robb, I don’t really know how to tell you this, but I think the best thing to do is just tell you. I think I’m in love with you...no I don’t think I’m in love with you, I know I love you. I love the way you smile when Arya chases Sansa around the house, even though you pretend to be annoyed. I love the way you always leaned over my shoulder and try to copy my homework. I love the way you smell after you get out of a long shower. I love the way you say my name when you’re annoyed with me. I love the way your hair looks when the sun peeks through your window in the early morning. I love the way you treat me like I’m the only person in the world, the only person who matters. And I know you don’t feel the same way, but I have to tell you. It’s unfair to me and you if I don’t do so. And telling you how much I love you is the scariest fucking thing I’ve ever done and fuck, I just fucking love you. You’re my best fucking friend and I want nothing more than to be with you till we die,” Theon ushered out, his breath fast and heavy, his face red. 

 

“Fuck.”

 

**Step 5.**

 

Theon knew as soon as he told Robb, he would be running back home and ready to eat a pint of ice cream and watch tv and ignore his phone for three days. He may not be Jeyne Westerling’s supposed witch of a grandmother, but Theon knew himself well enough to figure out what he’d do in the future. And that would run as far away and as fast as humanly possible. 

 

Theon knew he was brave, but even his bravery had a limit.

 

He grabbed his phone off his bed and finally opened his message from Robb. 

 

**Robb, 11:45 a.m.:** hey, just got up. Rickon said u left early.

you okay? 

 

Theon let his fingers linger over the keyboard, trying to come up with some sort of response when he saw the the three little dots flash on his screen. 

 

**Robb, 3:21 p.m.:** Hey, I know ur reading my messages.

Stop ignoring me. It’s important. 

Meet me at our playground in 20 mins

If u don’t show, up I’m sending Jon. 

 

Theon threw his phone on his bed, grabbed his coat, and raced out of his room. He ignored Asha’s curious eyebrow raise and ran the three blocks to the small playground, the playground where he and Robb had first met all those years ago. He wiped the snow off the seat and reached for his phone when he realized he left it at home, on his bed.

 

_ Of course. _

 

Theon threw his hands in his pocket and realized he was about 17 minutes too early and with no phone to keep him preoccupied was dangerous. His mind tried to figure out all the different outcomes. Robb wouldn’t call him to the park unless it was important. This was  _ their _ place. Their safe place. Did Robb know about his crush on him? Was he freaked out by it? 

 

Did Robb like him back? Was that why Jeyne told him to talk to him? Asha didn’t seem surprised at the fact she thought he was dating Robb. Was he and Robb the only two who didn’t get it? Who didn’t see they liked each other more than friends. Theon was nervous, but the prospect of Robb actually returning his feelings was a good nervous. How would their friendship change? Would they still do the same things? Theon hoped there would be more kissing, more hand holding, and  _ definitely cuddling. _

 

Theon began to swing, a smile forming on his face. He ignored the bitter cold wind and laughed, happy at the future. Theon began swinging, getting higher and higher until he could oversee the whole park, even see a little down the road when he saw a car try to brake at a stop sign, but instead began to quickly make its way towards an auburn haired boy with a smile on his face. Theon felt his hands release the chain of the swing and his heart stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from running wild by drenge....
> 
> i'm just gonna headcanon that Theon listens to a lot of grunge brit rock (drenge, the foals, royal blood, and some catfish and the bottlemen).
> 
> I'm sort of just updating this as I go, so maybe tomorrow? but sometime this weekend.


	4. you held the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theon accompanies Robb to the hospital, questioning his place in Robb's life.

Everything happened in such a blur. Theon didn’t remember jumping off the swing, yelling Robb’s name as he ran down the street, towards the accident. He shoved the strange man off his friend.  _So much blood._ Theon turned to the man, asking him to call 911. The older man nodded and walked away, making the phone call away from the two teens. Theon fell to the ground next to Robb, studying him. He noticed the odd shape his leg was in, the way he refused to move his left hand. Theon tried taking a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say before Robb interrupted his thoughts.

“You put your hair up,” Robb said, followed by immediate coughing. 

  
“Shut your mouth, Stark,” Theon said, his voice soft and full of concern. 

 

“It’s a nice look on you,” Robb smiled, his bright blue eyes slowly closing and opening. 

 

“Stay awake asshole,” Theon ordered, grabbing Robb’s hand and squeezing it tight. 

 

“You should wear it up more often, maybe you’d spend less time complaining about your hair,” Robb coughed and Theon noticed blood dripping out of his mouth. 

 

_ Fuck.  _ Theon had no idea what to do, the man was still on the phone with the dispatcher and he refused to sit on the sidewalk and watch his friend bleed out in his arms. 

 

“Well maybe I’ll wear it up, just for you, more often,” Theon teased, trying to keep his emotions stable. “Drowned God knows how much you hate to hear me complain about my hair.”

 

Theon watched Robb’s eyes slowly open and close, as if he was trying to stay awake. “I like your hair Theon, it’s soft.”

 

The dark haired boy felt himself blush. “Fuck off Stark, next thing you’re going to tell me is you like my eyes.” 

 

“But I do like your eyes,” Robb responded, squeezing Theon’s hand tighter. “They remind me of that time you took me to the beach and it was stormy and the waves were crashing everywhere...And I think I like you….and if I die, I -” 

 

“Shut the fuck up right now Robb,” Theon interrupted. “The ambulance is going to be here in a few minutes, you’re going to go to the hospital and they’re going to do whatever the fuck they have to do, and you’re going to fine. So if you’re going to confess to me, it’s going to be when I’m right there beside you in the hospital room, eating all your pudding.”

 

“Don’t eat it all, you’re going to get fat,” Robb sighed, his eyes finally closed. 

 

“I’m going to get so fat and you’re going to have to deal with it, Stark,” Theon joked, running his hand through the other boy’s hair. “But I’m going to need you stay awake.”

 

Robb just hummed in agreement and Theon heard the sirens off in the distance. Theon rummaged through Robb’s pockets carefully, locating his phone. 

 

“Do you remember that time, in maybe fourth grade I think? Well I said I could jump off the swing set going as high as I could and not get hurt?” Theon heard himself saying, his fingers gently tracing circles in Robb’s larger, calloused hands. “Well you told me I was going to break my arm. And guess what, you were right. But you were with me the whole time, telling me how cool my cast looked. And Robb, I’m going to be with you right now. And I’m never going to leave your side.”

 

Theon felt the other boy still breathing but he was unresponsive. Tears began to stream down his face. Two ambulances finally pulled up and two men immediately ran to Robb, while the other two turned to the other man.Theon watched as they carefully checked Robb’s body for injuries. 

 

Theon was asked to move aside further. Theon walked a few feet away, straining to make out what the two men were saying.

 

_ Possible broken ribs.  _

 

_ Internal bleeding. _

 

_ Broken arm and leg.  _

 

_ Possible concussion.  _

 

Theon pulled out Robb’s phone, and realized he didn’t know the passcode. Theon tried the obvious 1234. Nothing. 2014. Nothing. Theon closed his eyes and tried to think and slowly typed in 0625. His phone opened up, showing a picture of Theon and Grey Wind. Theon smiled, wiping away his tears. He went to the contacts and immediately scrolled through till he saw Ned’s contact, Warden of the North. Theon instinctively rolled his eyes and hit the call button. 

 

“Robb,” Ned’s cold but stern voice answered. 

 

“There’s been an accident,” Theon rushed out. “Robb was walking and a car slid on some ice and he got hit. The ambulance is here and he’s about to go to the hospital. He...he’s bleeding and unconscious and I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Cat, tell Sansa to watch her siblings,” Theon heard Ned say on the other end. “Theon, ride with Robb to the hospital and we’ll meet you there okay?”

 

“I”m so sorry,” Theon cried out. “ I should have been with him. Where was I? I should have -” 

 

“Theon, take a deep breath. Robb needs you right now,” Ned said calmly, interrupting him. “I know this is stressful, but I know you can do this.”

 

Theon nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

 

“We’ll meet you at the hospital, okay, Theon,” Ned said and Theon thinks this is the first time he’s ever had Ned try to comfort him. “Go to Robb.” 

 

Theon hung up and walked over to the ambulance, the paramedics putting him into the back. One of the paramedics walked over to him. 

 

“If you’re coming kid, you need to get in front seat right now,” the curly brunnette man said, jumping into the back of the vehicle. 

 

Theon just nodded and ran to the front seat, sitting beside a dark haired man who looked to be in his twenties.  

 

“Buckle up, we’re heading to the hospital right now,” he said, turning his sirens on, pulling away from the street corner. 

 

“I thought people normally sat in the back,” Theon said, not sure what to say or do, just hoping that if he kept talking, he wouldn’t start crying again. 

 

The man laughed. “That’s what everyone thinks. But that’s only if it’s a child or someone really upset. People rarely ride in the back.”

 

Theon nodded, realizing he was fidgeting with his hands. This was his fault. If he hadn’t had ignored Robb today, if he hadn’t have ran out of Robb’s house this morning, if he hadn’t had…

 

“I’m Renly by the way,” the driver said, his bright blue eyes shining. 

 

“What?” Theon said, realizing the other man had been talking to him. 

 

“I’m Renly, and everything will be alright, you know that right?” The man repeated, a small smile present on his face. “You still in high school?”

 

Theon nodded. “Yeah, a senior at Westeros High.”

 

“Oh the good old alma mater! Graduated there six years ago. Who’s your favorite teacher?” 

 

Theon looked out the window, watching the cars slowly pull over as the ambulance drove by. “Probably my uncle, Mr. Harlaw. He teaches calculus. Though I guess Mr. Hallyne the chemistry teacher is pretty cool.”

 

“Mr. Hallyne is still there? Sheesh, what is he now? 90?” Renly chuckled. “Is creepy Mr. Qyburn still teaching there?” 

 

“Still head of the anatomy and biology department unfortunately,” Theon responded. “One of these days he’s going to bring an actual body into the classroom for dissection.” 

 

“I wouldn’t be surprised to hear it,” Renly acknowledged, slowing down as they began pulling into the Emergency Room. Theon watched as Renly parked the ambulance and jump out of the driver’s seat, going to the back. The darked haired boy unbuckled and left the ambulance, following Renly and the other paramedic towards the automatic doors. Theon watched as the two men handed the stretcher to one of the ER nurses. Renly patted him on the back and Theon followed Robb into the hospital. 

 

“You were with him at the accident?” One of the doctors asked him, pointing to a small room to the side. The nurse and another doctor pushed him into the room. 

 

Theon nodded, watching Robb disappear behind the curtained room. “Is he going to be alright?”

 

“You need to wait in the waiting room,” the doctor explained, pointing to the large group of chairs. “Unfortunately I can’t tell you much, but you should sit and rest.” 

 

Theon wanted nothing more than to argue and fight them all, Robb needed him. Robb was all alone and surrounded by strangers and Theon was so close to him. He was about to say something when he felt a firm grip on his shoulder. Turning around, Ned Stark gave him a firm look that said ‘don’t try it.’ Theon shrugged his shoulders, knocking the older man’s hands off of him and sat on one of the dark brown chairs. Theon watched as Ned and Catelyn began talking to the doctor in hushed tones. Catelyn turned and faced Theon, her stern face emotionless and cold. Theon inadvertently shivered and began aggressively tapping his fingers against his leg. 

 

Leaning down into his legs, Theon began planning his escape route. Theon could escape the way he came in or just hide in one of the empty rooms. He knew the Starks would blame him for what happened to Robb. To be honest, Theon blamed himself. He knew that if he would have just sucked it up this morning, acted like nothing was wrong and just spent the day playing Grand Theft Auto, none of this would happened. If he just didn’t ignore Robb’s messages, causing the other boy to panic. Theon thought back to all the times his father called him worthless, saying his mother should have left him by the ocean; all the times his eldest brother’s told him it was his fault that their mother got ill and had to leave. Theon had to agree, he couldn’t do anything but hurt other people and mess up. And now because of him, the one person he actually cared about is hurt and might die. All because of him. 

 

“Come with me to get a coffee,” he heard a soothing voice say, tapping him gently on the shoulder. 

 

Theon jumped and looked up to see Catelyn Stark looking at him, her dark blue eyes looking concerned. He just nodded and followed her out of the room, turning to see Ned Stark take a seat on one of the chairs. 

 

“What do you want?” Catelyn asked, standing in front of the vending machines. 

 

“Black is fine,” he replied, keeping his voice low. 

 

Catelyn quickly swiped her credit card and placed one cup in the vending machine. Theon watched as the dark black liquid began to slowly fill up the cup. Catelyn slowly handed him the cup before pressing the mocha button for herself. Theon took a large gulp and forced himself to swallow the watered down coffee. 

 

“Take a breath, Theon,” Catelyn said, breaking the silence. Theon looked up and realized he was pacing back and forth. 

 

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Stark,” Theon immediately responded, taking a seat on the chair and feeling the tears begin to quickly fall. “It’s all my fault.” 

 

Catelyn sat beside him and shook her head. “Did you tell that man to drive 10 miles over the speed limit during a blizzard? Did you put that ice patch there? Did you push my son in front of that car?”

 

“Well of course not,” Theon began before Catelyn hushed him. 

 

“It wasn’t your fault, so I don’t want you thinking it was. I don’t care what sort of fight you and my son had, but it wasn’t your fault,” she explained, rubbing his back. “The gods can be so cruel sometimes can’t they?”

 

“Is he going to be alright?” Theon asked, wiping the tears off his face. 

 

“I don’t know, the doctors said he’s going to surgery right now,” her voice was quiet, and Theon noticed her eyes begin to water. 

 

Theon rose and grabbed a box of tissues off one of the end tables and handed them to her. She took a tissue and gently wiped her eyes. She looked at him and smiled. “You should go home and shower.”

 

“I need to be here, for when Robb gets out of surgery,” Theon explained, taking another sip of his coffee. 

 

“Theon, you’re covered in blood and you look like you’re about to have a breakdown in the middle of the hospital,” she explained. “Call Asha.”

 

Theon sighed and nodded. “I’ll be back as soon as I’m done at home.” 

 

Catelyn smiled. “I wouldn’t expect it any other way.”

 

Theon waited till Catelyn left before pulling out Robb’s phone and scrolling through Robb’s contacts, looking for Asha’s number. After searching under ‘Greyjoy’, ‘Asha’, and ‘Theon’s sister’, Theon found his sister’s number saved under ‘Still Scares Me.’ Theon chuckled and hit call. 

 

“Well, well, well Robb Stark,” He heard Asha say, after she answered on the fourth ring.

 

“Asha,” Theon began, taking a deep breath.  _ Stay calm. _ “Can you pick me up at the hospital?”

 

“Theon? Are you okay?” Asha asked, hearing her grab her car keys from the bowl. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Robb’s been in a car accident. I need a ride home so I can shower,” Theon explained. He heard his sister slam the door in the background, her footsteps echoing into the phone, before quickly opening her car door. 

 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, I’ll pick you up out front okay?” She responded. 

 

“Thanks Asha,” Theon said before hanging up. He slowly walked by the waiting room, stopping to watch Ned rub Catelyn’s back, talking to her. Maybe Robb didn’t need him after all. Even if Catelyn tried saying it wasn’t Theon’s fault, he knew it was. It was all his fault and if Robb died, he would live that guilt forever. Theon wiped away a tear and kept walking and headed to the main entrance of the hospital. 

 

“Greyjoy,” he heard a voice yell before he was able to escape. 

 

Theon turned to see Jon Snow rushing towards him. “What the fuck did you do to my brother?” 

 

“I...I,” Theon began, trying to find the words. “There was a car accident.”

 

Jon slightly shoved him against the wall. “Of course, he gets into a car accident to go see you. Why can’t you leave my brother alone. You always have to go and fuck things up you worthless piece of shit.” 

 

“Jon, let’s go,” Ygritte said, grabbing his hand. 

 

Theon wanted to say he was wrong, but he couldn’t. He knew Jon was right. Theon  _ is  _ worthless. He watched as Ygritte whispered to the darked haired boy. Ygritte lead Jon toward the Emergency Room, away from Theon. He saw Robb’s cousin grip Ygritte’s hand tightly as they made their way into the waiting room. Theon watched as Ned and Catelyn immediately rose and embraced the couple. He saw Catelyn look up, her eyes narrowing as she faced him.  

 

_ Maybe Balon is right, maybe I should have been thrown into the ocean. I am worthless _ . Theon walked out of the hospital, away from Jon, away from Catelyn, away from Robb. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, when i started this fic i wanted it to be fluffy with minimal angst but here we are, and it's just pure angst right now and I'm really sorry! Fluff is coming (I promise)!! 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by held the light by snow ghosts


	5. at the bottom of everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon is roped into Robb and Theon's drama.

Jon walked into the waiting room, turning down his music, a soft pop son. He took an earbud out of one ear as he saw his aunt and uncle walk out of Robb’s room, the two of them smiling. It had been just over a week since Robb’s accident and though the doctors said he would wake from his coma, Jon wasn’t sure. He saw the bruises on his body, the arm in the cast. The doctors said the scar on his chest would be with him for the rest of his life. Seeing Robb like that was the worst day of his life.

 

The dark haired youth smiled as his aunt hugged the doctor, and his uncle firmly gripped the man’s hand.

 

“Robb?” Jon asked, shoving his hands in his hoodie. “Is he awake?”

 

Ned nodded. “He’s awake, go say hello.”

 

Jon smiled and raced into the room,.Robb was sitting up in his bed and surrounded by his siblings, poking Arya in the side.

 

“Jon,” Robb greeted, smiling. Jon noticed the bruising on his face was still there and it looked painful to smile.

 

“Robb,” Jon replied, taking a seat beside his cousin. “You gave us quite the scare.”

 

“Well you know me, I like to keep you all on edge,” Robb joked.

 

“That is the biggest lie you’ve ever told,” Jon rolled his eyes. Music began to blare from his headphones and Sansa looked up, her eyes wide.

 

“Jon, is that -” Sansa began to ask, interrupted by the pillow Jon threw at her. He quickly ripped out his earbuds and muted his phone.  

 

“Not a word Sansa,” Jon said, turning his attention back to Robb who looked confused, but amused by the situation.

 

“Do I want to know?” Robb asked, taking a bite out of his fruit, his pudding untouched.

 

“No,” Jon responded, just as Sansa said the opposite.

 

Robb just shook his head and sighed. “Can I talk to Jon alone, for a little bit?”

 

Sansa gave Jon a long look before ushering her younger siblings out of the room. Jon reached for the chocolate pudding, only to be slapped on the wrist.

 

“Ouch, what was that for?” Jon asked, rubbing his hand.

  
“It’s not for you,” Robb simply said, looking out the window. The sun was about to set and it looked peaceful.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” Jon asked, crossing his arms.

 

Robb turned away from the window and looked down at his legs, one of which was in a white cast. “Mom and dad said Theon haven’t been by, since the accident. Have you talked to him by chance?”

 

Jon rolled his eyes. “Why do you even cared if he shows up?”

 

“Because he’s my best friend? And the last thing I remember was him sitting over him, covered in my blood,” Robb growled, his right hand gripping his blankets.

 

“I saw him the day you were admitted and haven’t seen him since,” Jon informed him.

 

Even after 13 years of friendship, Jon still didn’t know what Robb saw in the other boy. Theon was loud and arrogant, a smirk always present on his face. Theon was smart, Jon would give him that, but he was lazy and never followed through with anything. He knew Robb could do better than the son of some criminal as a best friend. Jon was mature enough to admit that he was maybe a little jealous of Theon, but he mostly just felt bad that Robb had to settle for someone like Theon.

 

“I can’t find my phone to text him,” Robb sighed, looking back out the window. “I had it with me at the accident but maybe it fell out?”

 

Jon shrugged. “I’m sorry?”

 

“Why hasn’t he at least visited?” Robb asked, his voice quiet.

 

“Maybe you told him you hated him when you were passing out?” Jon suggested, hoping that’s what happened. He looked up to see his cousin blushing profusely. “What did you tell him.”

 

“I might have told him I like his hair, his eyes and him in specific,” Robb rushed out. “I thought he felt the same way, and I know I’ve only been up for an hour but even Sansa said she’s haven’t spoken to him in a week. And she said Jeyne said the same.”

 

“Wait a second, you told Theon Greyjoy that you liked him?” Jon shouted, hoping that maybe he heard his cousin wrong.

 

“Yeah, I did,” Robb said even quieter this time.

 

“Maybe he just doesn’t feel the same way,” Jon responded without thinking. He watched Robb immediately turn and face him, his blue eyes narrowing, his right hand picking at his cast.

 

“You really think so?” Robb breathed, turning away and staring out the window again. “Of course he doesn’t, I just thought maybe...I guess I was wrong this whole time.”

 

Jon sighed. Theon and Robb had been best friends for their entire lives, and he never saw one without the other it felt like. And more recently, he’s noticed the stares when the other isn’t looking. Theon’s soft, fond looks whenever Robb talks about his favorite book series. Smiles that Jon thought never existed until Robb talked about his day to Theon. The brief touches, followed by sadness. _Damn it._

 

“No, I think he does,” Jon interrupted. “Wait, I don’t think he does. I know he does. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking.”

 

Jon watched the other boy smile softly and yawn quietly. Jon was going to hate himself after this.

 

“I’ll go check on him okay? Maybe he’s just upset about what happened,” Jon suggested, rising from his seat. “Get some rest.”

 

“Thanks Jon,” Robb yawned again. “Tell him to visit me okay.”

 

Jon nodded and pulled out his phone, going through his contacts until he got to Theon’s number.

 

 **Jon, 5:32 p.m.:** Hey asshole, why are you ignoring my brother?

 

Jon shut the door behind him and went to Sansa, who was staring intently at her phone.  

 

“Have you talked to Theon recently?” Jon asked, glancing down at his phone. No response.

 

His younger cousin shook her head. “No, he’s not answering any of my texts.”

 

Jon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay. I’m gonna head out.”

 

Sansa just nodded and turned her attention back to her phone. Jon walked out of the hospital and to the visitor parking lot, unlocking his car. He checked his phone again, still no response but he saw that the bastard read his message.

 

 **Jon, 5:40 p.m.:** Stop ignoring my messages.

 

Jon plugged in his phone and quickly scrolled through his music, pressing play. He slowly drove around town until he got to Iron Islands, the seaside suburbs west of the hospital. Jon turned down his music, until he came up to the small, one story house Theon shared with his older sister. He saw only one car in the driveway, though Jon was unsure if Theon even had his own car. He parked in front of the house and took one final glance at his phone. Theon was still ignoring his messages.

 

Jon grabbed his phone and left his car, making his way to the front door. Jon knocked once, hearing someone giggle before the door opened. A man with straight, sandy brown hair answered the door.

 

“Ummm, hi, I’m Jon, I was wondering if Theon was home?” Jon asked, his eyes looking around the small house.

 

“Asha,” the man said before walking away from the door and back into the small living room. Jon watched as a woman with shaggy dark hair and dark grey eyes walked to the door, a smirk on her face.

 

“What do you want with my brother Snow?” She asked, her hand conveniently going to her hips.

 

“Can I speak with him please?” Jon gulped. He looked around for any loose weapons, hoping that Theon’s older, scarier sister had nothing accessible.

 

“About what?” She asked. The man sitting on the couch gave him a look that suggested he hurry up and tell the truth.

 

“Robb, it’s about Robb,” Jon blurted.

 

Jon watched Asha tense up. She turned and pointed to a room at the end of the house, next to the kitchen. “He’s in there.”

 

Jon thanked her and quickly walked into the house, ignoring the four eyes currently focused on his back. He knocked on Theon’s door and received no answer. He knocked again and turned to see Asha rolling her eyes.

 

“Just go in,” she said, taking a seat next to the man again. Jon nodded and opened the door slowly, taking in the blue string lights hung around his wall. In the far corner of the room was an aquarium with multiple fish and his walls were covered in posters. Jon looked down and noticed clothing was thrown everywhere. His eyes eventually focused on the bed, and Theon facing the wall, wearing his earbuds.

 

 _And people say I’m the emo,_ Jon scoffed to himself. He closed the door behind him and very carefully made his way to Theon’s bed. He gently tapped him twice on the shoulder before walking back towards the door.

 

“I don’t want to talk Asha,” Theon mumbled, and Jon felt bad for the other boy.

 

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not Asha,” Jon replied, crossing his arms. He watched as the other boy immediately sat up in his bed, turning to him.

 

“Why the fuck are you here Snow?” Theon hissed, his dark grey eyes narrowing.

 

“Why the fuck are you here and not at the hospital?” Jon asked, staring the other boy down.

 

Jon watched as Theon’s face quickly went from anger to sadness to confusion and back to anger. “You know why.”

 

“No I don’t. All I know is that you accompanied Robb to the hospital and you haven’t even visited and now he’s all fucking sad in his hospital bed because you didn’t even visit once which he was in his coma,” Jon responded.

 

“He’s awake?” Theon asked, drawing his knees to his chin and hugging them.

 

“Yeah, he woke up earlier today,” replied Jon. “And when he asked about you, Sansa had to break it to him that you haven’t visited once. Never saw him more heartbroken.”

 

Theon looked away. “It’s probably better this way. I’m a fuck up anyways.”

 

“Well you’re not wrong there.” Jon immediately regretted his response, watching the other boy shrink even further into himself. He’s used to seeing Theon Greyjoy with a smirk upon his face, not this boy who felt like the world was crushing him.

 

“You can leave,” Theon said, his voice barely audible. “Thanks for stopping by Jon.”

 

“Okay that came out wrong. You’re a fuck up, but you’re Robb’s fuck up. For some reason, that boy is in love with you and would do anything for you,” Jon explained, running a hand through his curls. “And I’m guessing, the feeling’s mutual?”

 

“Does it matter? I’m worthless Snow, why would Robb want me?” Theon laughed. Jon flinched slightly, remembering what he told Theon a week before outside the waiting room.

 

“I didn’t mean that Greyjoy, I was just upset and you were there and convenient,” Jon responded, taking a step closer. “I know we don’t get along, but I want Robb happy and if you make Robb happy, then I guess I’ll have to deal with it.”

 

Jon took a seat next to Theon. “Look, for some reason you and Robb work together. No one thought your friendship would last past elementary school. But here you guys are, senior year of high school, proving everyone wrong. Just, go see him okay. Promise me.”

 

Theon nodded. Jon patted his shoulder. “So, if you tell anyone I came here, I’ll send everyone a picture of you reading that Myrcella article in the bookstore.”

 

Jon watched as Theon immediately look, his eyes wide before he quickly narrowed them. “That’s fine. Sansa already told me she found out someone else in her family enjoys the dulcet, pop songs by Westeros’ rising star, Myrcella. If only I could remember who it was.”

 

“Touche’ Greyjoy,” Jon laughed, rising from the bed and heading towards the door. “See you around?”

 

Theon nodded. “See you around Snow.”

 

Jon walked out of the room. Asha stood in the kitchen with the man, cutting peaches. She smiled at him and waved goodbye.

 

Jon never wanted to step foot in the Greyjoy house ever again, but he had to admit it wasn’t that bad. He got into his car and went to connect his phone to his car, when he realized his phone was dead. Jon slammed his head against the steering wheel, hoping the horn would wake him from his nightmare.

 

**Next Day -**

 

Jon was sitting in chair outside Robb’s room, his music blaring from his earbuds, eyes closed. After the song ended he heard someone mumbling. He slowly stuck his hand in his pockets and paused his music, his right eye slowly opening.

 

He watched Theon Greyjoy pace outside Robb’s room carrying a bouquet of mixed flowers that Jon recognized as roses, carnations, orchids tulips and hyacinths. Jon tried not chuckle as Theon mumbled to himself. He wished he could clearly make out what the taller boy was saying, but didn’t want to take his earbuds out and take away the advantage of Theon thinking he was asleep. The doctor left the room and Theon stopped pacing, running a hand through his unruly hair. Jon watched as Theon entered the room, closing it behind him.

 

Jon took out his earbuds and leaned against the door, upset that he missed the beginning part of their conversation.

 

“Can’t believe Theon Greyjoy got me flowers,” Jon heard Robb tease.

 

“Well, I spent an hour online, trying to find different flowers that meant what I was trying to say,” Theon chuckled awkwardly.

 

“Well, tell me what they mean Greyjoy,” Robb replied.

 

“The orchids mean…” Jon rolled his eyes and returned back to his chair. He didn’t have to listen to what every flower meant, he saw the roses so he knew exactly how this conversation was going to end.

 

Jon found himself smiling as he pulled out his phone, pulling up Ygritte’s text messages.

  
**Jon, 11:23 a.m.:** You’re never going to believe what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like we needed a semi-fluff chapter before I write Theon's angst filled week adventure (however, after that ALL FLUFF!) But I'm thinking maybe two chapters (three if y'all want smut and if I feel confident enough to write it).
> 
> Also this chapter is pretty rough, but I've been extremely busy so I'll probably go back and clean it up some.

**Author's Note:**

> I really want to thank all my twitter friends who read this over, offering their valued suggestions and corrections. Y'all are amazing <3
> 
> follow me on twitter @motelsonthemoon so we can cry about throbb and the copious other ships I have. 
> 
> Title is from undertow by snow ghosts (which is a really good throbb/asoiaf band imo).


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